Incident Report
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Found in: Issue 4, Crumbs
Published in January, 2022

Urban Park Ranger Animal Condition Response Form

Rangers: Lily Grossbard

Date and time of Ranger response: 11/28/2021 11:15:00 AM

Borough: Brooklyn

Property: Marine Park

Location: Salt Marsh Nature Center

Species Description: Raccoon

Call Source: Observed by ranger

Species status: Domestic

Animal Condition: DOA

Duration of Response: 0.25

Age: Adult

Animal Class: Domestic; Small Mamnals-non RVS; Small Mammals-RVS[1]; Marine Mammals-seals only; Marine Mammals-whales, Dolphins; Marine Reptiles; Terrestrial Reptile or Amphibian; Deer; Fish-numerous quantity; Non Native Fish-(invasive); Birds; Raptors; Rare, Endangered, Dangerous; Coyotes 

Final Ranger Action: Relocated/Condition Corrected

# of Animals: 1

Animal Monitored: False

Police Response: False

Comments: Connor and I found a dead raccoon by the side of the road right before we were about to begin the Sunday Winter Waterfowl Program, so we decided to leave it for later. Some of the patrons inquired but we rebuffed with the delightful buffleheads and hooded mergansers (there’s a rare Eurasian / North American crossbreed for those interested parties with “life lists”). I double-bagged the raccoon while Connor didn’t help and filmed me. “I’m making this for you to enjoy later.” I would say it felt soft and hard at the same time. Hard-core rigor mortis. It was bleeding from its mouth so I surmised it was hit by a car. Our supervisor, Judith, was not concerned. We left it in the trash for M&O to take to the dump where a trash barge would haul it to an island in the East River to decompose along with all our microplastics and Twin Towers debris (“historical trash,” as Brad the geologist likes to joke).

As it goes, I don’t mind dealing with so-called Animal Conditions because at least they are concrete tasks that fall in the categories of complete or incomplete. It’s simply a matter of steeling yourself against the unpleasantness at hand and swaddling the dead raccoon against your body, with only the relatively thick plastic of a black contractor bag in between you and death.

[1] Rabies Vector Species

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